If I have to, I can do anything.I am strong, I am invincible, I am Woman.
-Helen Reddy
I became a strong woman because I come from a family of strong women. Grandmothers, mother, sisters, and friends: each a warrior in her own right, each a hero to me.
My mother.......where does the strength come from? How has she managed to live her life for 80 years, do it well, and made it look easy? How does she have the courage to face another day?
She is truly a warrior queen, the goddess Brigid for my life. Her intellect and will have carried her through the ups and downs of life, and she has never faltered. She has risen above hardships that would have vanquished a lesser person. The feat that she achieved of raising all five of us and not crumbling beneath the weight astonishes me. We certainly weren't the Brady Bunch.
Now she stands as strong as ever as she cares for my dying father. She cares for him 24/7 with virtually no relief. Yes, she gets sharp with him at times. She loses her patience repeating things endlessly. It hurts me to hear, but I understand where it comes from. It is her gentleness with him that breaks my heart.
She is so tender and nurturing, so loving and protective of him! She never sleeps a full night through, because she listens for him waking. She calms his fears, and comforts him with love that has lasted 60 years. She cares for him like a hen with one chick, doing anything he needs done, and never complaining. She pushes aside her own health issues, because he is more important. He is fearful and anxious when she is out of his sight, so she chooses to stay by his side every moment she can. She does it all with little help: we, her children, all do our best for them, but it isn't enough. It could never be enough. She has finally consented to have someone come in to sit with him while goes to Mass on Sunday and does her food shopping on Thursday. She also has someone come stay on the very rare occasion she goes out for some reason. She refuses to have any home health aide come in, which drives us all insane. We all know that this is misplaced strength and pride, but we also know we are not about to change her mind.
When I am with them, I invariably leave in tears. The sadness overwhelms me, and I can't cope. Thinking about it now I am crying. How does she have the fortitude to carry on, day after day, watching the man she loves fade away bit by bit?
I fought with her for years, for many reasons (all of them stupid) yet she never stopped loving me. I see her now so differently. She amazes me. She awes me. I hope to someday to become even half the woman she is. She is my hero.
My mother.......where does the strength come from? How has she managed to live her life for 80 years, do it well, and made it look easy? How does she have the courage to face another day?
She is truly a warrior queen, the goddess Brigid for my life. Her intellect and will have carried her through the ups and downs of life, and she has never faltered. She has risen above hardships that would have vanquished a lesser person. The feat that she achieved of raising all five of us and not crumbling beneath the weight astonishes me. We certainly weren't the Brady Bunch.
Now she stands as strong as ever as she cares for my dying father. She cares for him 24/7 with virtually no relief. Yes, she gets sharp with him at times. She loses her patience repeating things endlessly. It hurts me to hear, but I understand where it comes from. It is her gentleness with him that breaks my heart.
She is so tender and nurturing, so loving and protective of him! She never sleeps a full night through, because she listens for him waking. She calms his fears, and comforts him with love that has lasted 60 years. She cares for him like a hen with one chick, doing anything he needs done, and never complaining. She pushes aside her own health issues, because he is more important. He is fearful and anxious when she is out of his sight, so she chooses to stay by his side every moment she can. She does it all with little help: we, her children, all do our best for them, but it isn't enough. It could never be enough. She has finally consented to have someone come in to sit with him while goes to Mass on Sunday and does her food shopping on Thursday. She also has someone come stay on the very rare occasion she goes out for some reason. She refuses to have any home health aide come in, which drives us all insane. We all know that this is misplaced strength and pride, but we also know we are not about to change her mind.
When I am with them, I invariably leave in tears. The sadness overwhelms me, and I can't cope. Thinking about it now I am crying. How does she have the fortitude to carry on, day after day, watching the man she loves fade away bit by bit?
I fought with her for years, for many reasons (all of them stupid) yet she never stopped loving me. I see her now so differently. She amazes me. She awes me. I hope to someday to become even half the woman she is. She is my hero.
No comments:
Post a Comment